My struggle sharing our conversations…

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It’s easy when you have time to prepare…

It’s funny how we often tell ourselves how easy it would be to act in a given situation if we were to encounter something unusual to our daily lives. If you saw someone get mugged, would the adrenaline of the situation cause you to act or cause you to run? It’s easy to say, in a calm state, I would act…and some may say “I would run”…but either way, until that situation presents itself it is hard to know unless you are in a profession that truly prepares you for that type of situation. This is just one example to represent my point…

This emotional decision is what I feel every time we publish an episode and we put our opinions, voices, thoughts, and ideas out for all the world to listen. When we record, the conversation is easy. Heck, we are just having discussions reflecting the points we conceive when we are alone. Many times, my thoughts are challenged and that opinion I clearly formulated for the audience of myself before the discussion doesn’t seem to be as clear as it was in the shower. This is the fun part since the recording is a small audience of Rodney and our guest.

When it gets real and it is time…

It isn’t until we edit and listen over and over and over again that the anxiety takes over and makes me wonder…do I put this out there? Do I really want to put my neck on the line? Does anyone really care what I think? Especially when my profession has nothing to do with the topics we discuss. My job doesn’t prepare me to talk about race, politics or social issues. It certainly doesn’t prepare me to have these conversations with people whom I may disagree. After all, the majority of the conversational practice is at home with family, an audience that agrees or semi agrees but ultimately is safe. These are people I know won’t judge or criticize my opinions. Especially if I don’t have all the facts (really, who does have all the facts on all the issues).

Why it matters…

As I struggle with these questions each and every episode I usually come to the same conclusion…what we are doing isn’t about me…though the anxiety has yet to go away. The point is about taking a risk to have conversations…not as an expert…not as an authority on any one issue…but as an average, everyday person who wants to talk to people about their experiences and their opinions. When the recording doesn’t come out perfectly or I didn’t say it exactly the way I wanted to, the nervous meter peek, but so does the importance of sharing that moment. How often do we walk away from challenged conversations and say “BOOM, NAILED IT!”…I certainly don’t…usually it is “What did I just say? Did I offend them?”

I’m sharing this because I think it is important to express the emotional struggle I have in making this podcast every time we publish. I think this emotional struggle is common in some fashion and often is what contributes to the difficulty of engaging in spirited yet productive dialogue during every day situations. This isn’t an easy thing to do but we can agree it is important…one day at a time…one conversation at a time…and one step at a time as we get to know each other better and lead toward a common path.

Expose.Evaluate.Evolve

RodneyKeith Richardson